You Deserve a Day Out!

As a mom, we get so overwhelmed with taking care of things. I mean, come on, we have little ones who depend on us for survival. Everyday, we aim to complete a never ending POST IT in our heads of all the things we need to do. Just when you think, you’re getting close to the end, a couple more things get added and you celebratory shower or glass of wine gets further and further away from you. I’m guilt of this- not taking care of myself because there is “too much to do”.

I also have serious FOMO and control issues. (I know what you’re thinking! “What?! Me?! Control issues?!”… lol I’ll admit it.) Sometimes, if I think about going out or taking a day to myself, I worry about my son not getting his nap in, or eating a 2 bags of goldfish instead of a healthy lunch. I don’t know about you, but I even get jealous of my husband when he tells me about a fun moment I missed or I get FOMO by looking at some of the pictures he sends me.  I’m also guilty of just feeling like I totally isolated myself from my friends and I don’t even know how to approach a, “Let’s hang out text!”

I noticed that I started to come up with excuses as to why I don’t spend time with my friends or take a day to myself. Mom guilt is real! In my head, I think, “ I can’t just leave my baby for an entire day to go out and have a good time myself. How selfish of me?” Boy was I wrong! I need this time! Better yet, Mama, YOU need to give yourself this time!  You need to remember that you are more than a Mom and you are worth so much more!

DON’T GET LOST IN THE SAUCE!

What does it mean to “Invest in Yourself”?

Let’s not make that phrase too complicated, Mama! When you invest in yourself you are using resources to improve your quality of life and performance. There are many ways to invest in yourself that go beyond the usual mani pedi! When you invest in yourself, ideally you are working to improve the emotional, physical, mental, or financial aspects of your life. Although, mani pedis, shopping sprees, and spa days can be very relaxing, I encourage you to look for opportunities or resources that focus on self- growth and help you make positive changes into your life. This can be as simple as attending church, joining a motherhood community or mommy and me groups, taking a financial course, or practicing yoga. These type of investments go far beyond material items!

Why You Need to Invest In Yourself

Lately, I’ve been focusing on investing time and energy into myself. I started reading MANY self-help books. You can check out my favorites list on my Amazon Storefront! I began making time for myself to workout, even if it’s only 20 minutes. I even minimized the amount of work I brought home, and I cut down those long hours staying late in my classroom. By investing this energy I myself, I became a better mother, a better wife, and just a better person. You see, when you invest in yourself and make yourself happy you have much more to give to others. Does that make sense?! Let me break it down.

As moms we give give give! Our time, energy, and attention. We put our needs on the back burner. So when we give so much of ourselves daily, and we aren’t taking care of ourselves, we run outta gas! My husband always gets mad because I ALWAYS drive my car on E! Like seriously, one time he went to fill my car and it only had 1 mile on it! Haha whoops! Well, that’s how motherhood gets sometimes. And lately, that’s how I’ve been functioning. Running on empty but trucking along. My quality of care and performance was not at its best, because I was not at my best. 

I knew that I was lacking in one specific part of my life. My social circle has gotten much smaller becoming a mom. Don’t get me wrong, I love and appreciate all of my friendships, but balancing them with motherhood and being able to give them my time and attention weekly is difficult. Sure, I talk to many moms and friends through texts or Instagram, but let’s not forget the importance of physical interaction. I somehow knew that being out for a girl’s day was something I needed for myself, despite the mom guilt trying to enter into my brain.

My Girl’s Day Experience

This past weekend I made plans to go to SF to visit one of my girlfriends visiting from San Diego. We had plans to get brunch and explore.  I decided to take the train because I’ll be honest, I’m a terrible driver and can’t parallel park to save my life!As I entered the train, I found a spot and sat there. My first thought was , “I need to hurry back to get home before dinner”. Then, I reminded myself, “Enjoy this time Serena. You deserve this!”

I sat there and pulled out my favorite book while listening to an instrumental playlist. I was in complete ZEN! Like when do I get to sit and read a book while listening to music with no distractions. It was beautiful! I could feel myself slowly begin to recharge. I was on the train for an hour, but it was so relaxing that it felt even longer! When I got off the train, I had the biggest smile. Thank God I was wearing my mask because I probably looked like a kid at Disneyland. 

I walked out of the train station to SF and although it was crowded with homeless people and busy streets, to me, it was freeing. I got to buy a hot chai and sit in a chair by myself. Listening to nothing but my thoughts or just embrace the silence. I got into the Lyft to go meet my friend and he ended up dropping me off about a mile away from my actual stop! I thought to myself, “Everything happens for a reason. Guess I’m walking!” Little did I know, it was going to be a treacherous uphill climb and I was wearing knee high black leather boots with a fierce 4 inch heel! 

As I was walking up this hill, all I could do was laugh at myself and feel so much joy just for being on this adventure. Having the opportunity to navigate this spontaneous moment! I began to strut my stuff up the steep hills of SF feeling like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. I finally made it to my friend’s place and we went to brunch at Don Pistos! After brunch we walked around and decided to go thrift shopping in Haight District! Let me tell you, I’ve never been anywhere so cool and so perfectly for me! It was like HIPPIE TOWN! There were plant stores, thrift stores, tie dye stores, and ice cream shops everywhere! 

Each store was unique and beautiful and proved a great experience! I was so humbled just to be able to try something on in the fitting room! Like when was the last time I was able to go in a fitting room! Not since my son was born. You know how hard it is to take a 2 year old in a fitting room without him screaming or crawling out into other stalls!  I got the cutest outfits for myself and refused to let myself feel guilty for not buying something for my son. I invested in myself and it felt great! 

After an incredible day, I returned back to the train station. I hopped in and found my spot. I thought how incredibly lucky am I to be able to read my book twice today! I’m so happy I decided not to drive, so I could truly invest in myself every minute of the day. I sat and read my book listening to the same playlist as before, recharging my battery just a little bit more before heading back home. By the time we reached it back to San Jose, I was fully charged and ready to go back home. That night, I thanked myself for letting me have this day to myself. For letting myself not get in my own head. 

I can honestly tell you, this day, was in my top 10 favorite days! Moral of the story: Mama, if you’re feeling like you’re running on “E” and you have been for a while, you need this. You need to invest in you! I promise you, that you can not give anything to other is you are not filling yourself with happiness first. 

You deserve happiness, Mama.

You deserve some Mom-ME time! 

Now go out there and get it!